Black Boy

I am listening to Richard Wright's, Black Boy on audiobook for the 2nd time. I think it is a piece of American literature that everyone should read at least once. It is an insight into the mind of an African American man that is unmatched. The chronicling of the realities of black life, the psychological dysfunction created by a world that has taught you that you are hopelessly inadequate, the troubling knowledge that you are one in a long line of those grappling with a reality that is far from what you hope for, and far less than you could ever accept. As I listen to Richard Wright's struggle with bending his humanity to fit into a space that cannot be occupied by the expanse of his personal hopes and dreams... I feel at one with him, and in this identification I also have a feeling of emptiness. A feeling of inadequacy, of being less than, and this... This is what compels me to continue forward.

As Wright dialogues on the his interactions with whites in the south in the late 1920's, and his internal struggles with simply wanting to be treated like he was a human being, and not having to play the part of a simpleton in order to avoid upsetting whites... its obvious why there is so much black on black violence. Being stripped of one's manhood, and having only one place where aggression is accepted, gives one but a single outlet and often leads one to act out in ways that are self destructive... ...I recall a verse from a hip hop recording called, Getaway,

9 out of 10 are black on black crimes, 4 out of 9 are killed before their time, the other 5 wanted vengeance, so now 5 out of 5 are doing a jail sentence. Ask me I've been through it, so when I reach for the top, I'll say the ghetto made me do it. I know how to strive, born and raised in the ghetto, so you know I can survive.

Has an heir of hopelessness, but ends with hope...

I once heard someone say, I think it was Anderson Cooper, that

Hope is not a plan

And while this may be true, hope gives birth to faith and faith is the substance that drives one forward even when one is unsure of what the future holds... "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen..." Faith is what drives me even when I feel like, as Richard Wright says, "this is not a civilization... its a culture, and you have to figure out a way to navigate it... as he struggled to learn... to force himself to behave in ways that seemed to defy his personhood..." Faith pushes me forward... Faith gives me a reason to rise in the morning... Faith...

Studying racism, listening to Wright, and living are like a BIG collision for me!

I'm glad that I have learned to respond to something greater than my humanity... something that binds humankind together regardless of how we "act" out our roles in society.

Interesting Dialogue on Black Male "Otherness"

Robert: I read an article last week called Beyond love: A critical race ethnography of the schooling of adolescent Black males.

Please take 5 minutes and read my quick reflection.

This article is important to my topic because it investigates the ways that African American males experience distancing between themselves and those who could become a source of social capital for them. While I found this article to be an excellent read, it was yet another painful encounter for me. If I can be transparent, this article carried me up and down emotionally. The highs were identification with the things I see and feel, as were the lows. Solidarity feels good, even when it is painful. This article discusses the otherness of being an African American male. It attempts to dissect the way that African American males are categorized and marginalized in American society, and it concludes that we are "beyond love." It makes this determination based on the "otherness" of the category we occupy.

According to critical race theorist Richard Delgado, "we cannot identify with or love anyone who is too different from us." For one thing, we perceive the strange "Other" to have little to offer us; we regard the "Other" as something that disrupts and destroys whatever it comes in contact with. The strange Other is essentially different and ontologically separate from those whom we consider to be normal.

Duncan sites that most of the research and literature about black males, posits them as other. It speaks of black males in such a way that contributes to a "perception of strangeness" and to the "further marginalization of the group in school." The end result of this perception of "strangeness" is the estrangement of African American males. This estrangement colors every encounter that black males have with the world. When a black male has an authentic encounter with someone who does not appear to perceive him as strange, or is at least making a determined effort at color blindness, it often creates an awkwardness that forbids authenticity.

As I read this article, I heard echoes of my own voice saying, "What's wrong with them? Why do they act that way? Why don't they care? What were they thinking?" The strong critique I have on not objectifying groups of people and individuals by making them something "out there," makes thoughts and comments like this almost sinister for me. Its like I am failing to have an authentic encounter with myself, when I fail to have an authentic encounter with the boys (the boys I work with in an inner city church). Funny thing is, when I get passed my attempt to critically analyze the boys I work with, I forsake my "technique" and just practice being "with" them. ---To be "with" someone, anyone, requires giving of yourself. It requires stepping into a world that may be foreign, or even familiar. The one thing that it is not, is "yours."--- Entering their world and affirming their "somebodiness" is how I gain trust and access. That's when we realize that we have a lot in common.


Mary: That is very good. I see that you are bringing in different concepts to your work now. You are developing your thought processes and refining what you are passionate about. That is pretty evident.

Robert: Thanks... I really wanted you to focus more on the concepts than me though. Isn't this whole idea of the "otherness" of the African American male fascinating?

Mary: I did find the concept of otherness interesting. I would think though that white females (who are often teachers) would find black males most at the “otherness” end of the spectrum. I would think that male teachers would somehow find something in common with black males. Black females would be able to relate on some level of them being “the sons, brothers, etc.”. It is interesting…. Your own journey through the topic was interesting as well.

Robert: What was interesting in the study that produced the article was that teachers, administrators, students, and black males themselves had all internalized in value and practice, this otherness of the African American male. The "otherness" is in many cases normalized, which often renders the black male to be "beyond love."

Mary: Very sad if it is true…well, I guess not if it is true but if it is widespread.

Robert: Research indicates, and experience indicates... that it is very true. We (AA males) seldom feel understood and truly loved... And we do not want to discuss the depth of our feelings because the things we share become "evidence against us." This was also a recurring theme in the research for all marginalized groups (Native American, black women, black men, Puerto Rican girls, white women). Individuals in marginalized groups often used silence as a form of protection... repeatedly. The fear is that if you share your feelings, then people will use what you share as an excuse for your situation (why you are the way you are), and in a sense, devalue you even more... making you even more "other" by labeling you with negative characteristics and or qualities that do not enhance your self worth.

Mary: I feel you. That is the case when you make yourself or allow yourself to be vulnerable to people that you don’t trust. It is similar to the point that there are things that black folks can say to one another that would not be able to be said around “others’ because it could be used as validation of some things.

Banana Hit

This is my lil cousin. He and his friends are film students. They created this amusing short. What makes it even more funny is that my cousin is one of the most peaceful people you would ever want to meet. The thought of him being involved in a sinister plot is pretty funny. I am very proud of this young man. He is working very hard to make his dreams a reality.



Interestingly enough, this skit fits into a category with YouTube eyewitness accounts (videos) of violence in classrooms. There are films/shorts of teachers beating students and students beating teachers. I have personally worked with young people who have attempted to intimidate me, and threatened to become violent. I'm about 6 ft tall, 210 lbs and I have been threatened by 8 year olds! I can laugh at most attempts to intimidate…BUT… How must it feel to be in a classroom with a group of violent teenagers?

I was having dinner with a friend last night who is subbing in an inner city school. He told me a story about how he bumped into a 13 year old accidentally in a hallway at the school. The 13 year old, in an act of bravado, stuck out is chest, looked at my friend and said "What! You wanna go?!" My friend was shocked, but gathered himself and said something to the effect of, "Son... I'm an adult." After a brief exchange, my friend did something that I thought was brilliant. He looked at the young man and said, "You are a child. You don't even know your purpose yet. You don't even know what you were born to do... to be." The young man's face, to quote my friend, "went from anger to bewilderment."

So many young people today are trying to emulate MTV's "studio gangsters" and aspiring to a culture that glorifies violence, misogyny, and all sorts of deviant behavior. My heart goes out to these young people, because they will have to realize at some point that “thugging” gets tired, and is not tolerated amongst civilized peoples without serious consequences, as evidenced by the legal troubles of the rapper T.I.

“Many rappers make a living from portraying the aggression and profanity they say reflects the reality of U.S. inner city life but this year record companies and civil rights leaders have waged a campaign to ban hip hop records that use curses from radio.

T.I., who was born Clifford Harris, faces up to 20 years in jail if convicted of charges that he tried to buy unregistered machine guns even though he was a convicted felon. He was remanded in custody on Friday for a further week.
His arrest last Saturday stunned many hip hop fans because it came just hours before he was due to star at a major hip hop awards ceremony in Atlanta.
"It (the arrest) is going to fit into the stereotype of the violent young black male and of course it will look like he did something incredibly stupid with no reasoning about it," said William Jelani Cobb, the author of a recent book of essays about contemporary black culture.

That impression is exacerbated in T.I.'s case because, after two No. 1 albums on the U.S. billboard charts and an appearance in a forthcoming movie with Denzel Washington, he appeared on the verge of joining hip hop's elite.
Cobb said that if found guilty T.I., who is 27, will have likely thrown away his career.

He will also be seen to have failed to separate himself from the negative influence of some of the people he grew up with and to have fallen into the trap of living out the reality on which he based his music, Cobb said.”

When will things begin to get better?

Do People Care Anynore?

My wife and I live in an inner city setting. Compared to where I grew up, its pretty darn nice. We own a historic, 3 story, brick home. We enjoy being close to the riverfront, fine dining, other big cities, theaters and museums. I personally like the sounds and cultural diversity that you can find in the city. The city, along with all of its benefits, has baggage. Big cities are typically overcrowded, have stereotypically "bad" sections, crime, and major politics. My wife is from suburbia. She's more used to a quiet, non-intimidating existence. I'm from the inner city. I'm used to a rough and tumble, "do for self," "who you staring at," existence. Quite a paradox huh? Fearlessness is one of my flaws. Very little frightens me. I have seen all types of violence and experienced violence myself. In 1991, I was shot 3 times. Last night, I was sitting on the living room floor reading, and my wife was sitting on the sofa playing Jewel Quest on her laptop, when we heard a woman's frantic screams. I jumped up instinctively, ran downstairs and outside barefoot, where I encountered a young white male chocking a woman. He stopped as I ran toward him yelling, "Hey man! What the Hell are you doing!?!?!" The woman ran into my arms and said, "Please help me sir. He's my son. He's high on drugs and he attacked me. Please call the police." My wife, called the police. I tried to talk to her son, but he ran off. My wife and I sat just inside of our front door consoling the sobbing woman. I guess she was blessed to be in the care of a minister and a physician. She explained to us that her son was a good man, when he wasn't under the influence of drugs and alcohol, and she thanked me for coming so quickly to her aid. I fully understand how drugs and alcohol bring out latent behaviors that can make the kindest people act in ways they never thought possible. Eventually the police came, and we saw the lady off safely.

When we went back inside, I said to my wife, "No one else in the neighborhood even came outside. Do people even care anymore?" I understand that times have changed and being a "good Samaritan" can be dangerous today, but it feels more and more that people just don't care anymore.

Have you had similar experiences? Have you driven by someone broken down on the side of the road lately, thought about helping them, and then just decided to keep on going? I have. It seems that we are losing community, in a traditional sense... and I am just not sure of what this means for us as a people... as human beings.