Who's Your Jonathan? - Your TRUE FRIEND

There was one person who David could always count on. This person would never let him down, always had his back, always put him in position to win, was always willing to dim his own light that David's light might shine more brightly. That one person was Jonathan.

1 Samuel 18:1-4 (New King James Version)

1 Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. 3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.

Jonathan was a true friend, not a best friend but a true friend, not a BFF but a true friend. The Message version of the Bible translates Proverbs 18:24 as,

"Friends come and friends go,
but a true friend sticks by you like family."

Now I realize that many of us have family members who aren't very close and never will be, but in the biblical sense, this verse can be likened to the old adage, "blood is thicker than water," indicating the closeness of blood kinship. In this case, this true friend is thicker than blood!

1 Samuel 18:1 says that Jonathan loved David as his own soul.-- A soul friend is the epitome of a true friend and sees you as a kind of SECOND SELF.

"The true friend is, so to speak, a second self."
Cicero

According to Leonard Sweet:

A Jonathan believes in you when no one else does.
A Jonathan is loyal even when you make it hard to be loyal.
A Jonathan is the first to call in good times or bad.
A Jonathan gives and gives and wants nothing in return.
A Jonathan walks with you through every season of your life.

I have to say this because I have debated with more than a few folk about the meaning of "friend." I don't call many people "friend." Friend is a deeply intimate term for me. I have a number of acquaintances, many of them very dear. In my youth a had a "crew" that I hung out with... my homeboys. I had guys I played ball with, women I talked on the telephone and went to the movies with, people I partied with, even people I worshiped with at church... people I loved, but how many of them were true friends? To quote the hip hop group Whodini, "The dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friend." I'll just say that for me, a friend is a very special individual, and a true friend is priceless.

A Jonathan has at least 3 characteristics

1) A "What's in it for YOU attitude"

Be careful of people who only want to be close to you because of what you can do for them. Some people can make you feel great about yourself for all the wrong reasons. They put you up on a pedestal and anoint you king or queen. This is when you need your Nathan to come in and straighten you out! (see my previous blog entry)... The point I'm trying to make is that some people will get close to you with a "What's in it for me" attitude. They know that they stand to gain something from their relationship with you and that's the sole reason why they are in the relationship. A Jonathan on the other hand has a "What's in it for YOU attitude." They can put their own ambitions on the back burner and champion you, just because they love you.

2) Establishes a level of intimacy with you.

Relationships exist at many levels. I have heard it said that people come into your life for a "reason, a season, or a lifetime" and different levels of truth and trust are required to sustain different types of relationships. Jonathan's have established intimacy with you. You can share your dark side, your secret sins, your private pains, your old unhealed wounds, and your Jonathan will love you anyway.

3)Pay the cost.

I have heard it said that anything worth having will cost you something. A Jonathan knows that there is a cost associated with true friendship. To be a true friend requires great sacrifice and a Jonathan is willing to "Pay The Cost."

Who's your Jonathan? The person who would give their very last that you might live... the one who is willing to fall back, so that you can move forward... the one who feels your pain as though it were their own and rejoices in your triumph as though it were their own victory?

We all need a Jonathan. Someone who will allow us to be ourselves with no shame or regret. Someone who loves us, not because of, but in spite of who we really are.

Written by Frederick A. Hanna