Michael Jackson - The Little Brown Boy

June 25, 2009, Michael Jackson dies at the age of 50. I'm personally conflicted about Michael Jackson. I grew up loving him. I loved him because of his marvelous talent, but probably more so because he was a little brown boy like me.



There weren't too many little brown boys in the public eye when I was growing up who weren't caricatures. As I think back, the only other black boys that I remember seeing regularly on television when I was very young were Buckwheat, Stymie, Rodney Allen Rippey, and the Jacksons.



The Jacksons weren't dark, nappy headed, funny talking boys. They were just brown boys like me, except they had great talent. I loved Michael's music and his ability to captivate an audience, but there was a point where I became conflicted about Michael. Around the time of the Thriller album, I began to get a little confused.



He started to seem a little strange to me. His high pitched voice and strange mannerisms actually made it hard for me to appreciate the Thriller album at that time. Perhaps it was because I was on the verge of teen hood, and Michael no longer met the standard for my ideas about masculinity. I can't be sure right now. What I am sure of is that by the time the Bad album came out, I could no longer relate to Michael.



He was no longer that little brown boy. People like to joke that he metamorphosized from a black boy into a white woman. I don't know about that, but there is no denying that he took on a strange transgendered look. Who knows if he had a skin disease that caused his skin color to change, or if he bleached his skin. One thing is for sure, he mutilated the beautiful face of that little brown boy that I had grown to love.

Over the years, I learned to love Michael again. His performance at halftime of Super Bowl XXVII was hands down the best halftime show of all time. It made me see that beneath all of the surgeries, the little brown boy who was simply the greatest entertainer of all time was still there.

Behind all of the court cases, the accusations, the rumors and speculations, Never Never Land... was a tragic character. Most of us will probably never know all of the things that culminated in him becoming the 50 year old man that died on June 25th, but we do know that he changed the music industry, influenced countless entertainers who came after him, and literally made the music video industry.

I do find it interesting that a man who meant so much to black music seemed to have such an ambivilance about his own racial identity. Well, I will always remember him as that little brown boy. You know, the one with the wide nose, full lips, coarse curly hair, and brown skin... like me.