You need THE Paraclete? - When people aren't enough, you need a "Go-To-God."

Sometimes people fail you...

...They let you down.
...They aren't in place when you need them.
...They're not up to the task.
...They're flakes.
...They fall asleep on the job.
...They're not accountable.

If you think I'm being a pessimist, then you either haven't lived long enough or you don't like dealing with reality. Human beings are fallible, and even the best of us make mistakes and fall short. That's why you need the Paraclete!

Who's always on the job! Never sleeps or slumbers? Has your back, front, undersides, oversides, and insides? None BUT God!

Paraclete, translated as comforter is the word most often used to depict the Holy Spirit, but its also a word that Jesus used to refer to Himself.

The Holy Spirit is like a garment that God has given us to prepare us as we suit up to do battle with the forces of the world: racism, poverty, oppression, grief... Since we are wrestling with powers that are greater than our humanity, we need an Advocate who is greater than our humanity and greater than our adversaries. Jesus promised us that we would never be left alone in this battle.

"Our greatest asset is invisible and intangible. The Paraclete goes out into life's conflicts with us and protects not only our backs, but also our sides, our fronts, and our insides, the whole being!" L Sweet

The Paraclete imbues us with Confidence, Humility, and Courage:

Confidence... The confidence of the Paraclete means that your confidence is not in yourself, but in a hope that arises from a deep faith in the providence and protection of the Paraclete.

Humility... The humility of the Paraclete means that you have a monstrous modesty. "The disciple of Jesus stoops to conquer" (L Sweet). In the Bible, the path to exaltation is paved with humility.

Courage...To face the world with confidence and humility, you will need courage. The Paraclete gives you the courage to live your life to the fullest, to stand toe-to-toe with your fears, to push through circumstances and situations that appear to be meant for your destruction, to be more than a conqueror!

John 14:26 (NKJV)
26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

You need the Paraclete.

Written by Frederick A Hanna

Where is Your Place? - You need your own little Jerusalem (City of Peace).

Everyone needs a PLACE in life. Not necessarily a physical place, but a place where you feel grounded and secure, a place where you feel emotionally, mentally, spiritually at peace.

1. You need to FIND your place...
Is there a place that you long to return to? A place where you feel whole? A place where you feel completely at ease?

OR

Are you like many, "hopelessly searching for spiritual roots without earth to plant in?"

2. You need to live in your place...
Once your find you place, you've got to situate yourself in it. You've got to get accustomed to it and committed to it. You've got to understand its narratives, its traditions, its landscape, how it functions and how you function in it.

3. You need to speak the language of your place...
"When you speak, can people hear the personality of your place? Do you speak with an accent? Does your 'speech betray you,' as it did Peter with the servant girls?" (L. Sweet)

Never betray your heritage and lose your accent! Your accent isn't just in the twang in your tongue, or the local meanings of certain words and phrases, BUT in the spirit of where you come from. You speak with the accent of your heritage.

Martin Luther King made famous the words, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we're free at last," but those weren't his words. They come from a song called "I Shall Get Home Some Day" by Charles A Tindley, BUT when King spoke them with the accent of the black church... the pain, the struggle, the tension, the freedom, the power... The magnificence of the tradition of the black church that colored King's accent made these words immortal. What's your accent?

We all need to have a PLACE in the world. A place where we find the peace of God and the purpose of God for our lives.

Written by Frederick A Hanna

Who's Your Rhoda? - You need a little one.

Who is Rhoda you ask? Rhoda was a doorkeeper at the house of Mary in Jerusalem. She was the servant girl who answered the door when Peter knocked after being released from prison.

Acts 12:

12 So, when he had considered this, he came to the house of Mary, the mother of John whose surname was Mark, where many were gathered together praying. 13 And as Peter knocked at the door of the gate, a girl named Rhoda came to answer. 14 When she recognized Peter’s voice, because of her gladness she did not open the gate, but ran in and announced that Peter stood before the gate. 15 But they said to her, “You are beside yourself!” Yet she kept insisting that it was so.

When all of the prayer warriors were focused on the task of praying, it was Rhoda who was able to break away and see that their prayers had already been answered. It took Rhoda's persistence, the persistence of a child... a little one who was willing to imagine that Peter's presence wasn't just her imagination.

Sometimes it takes a child to point out the obvious... to "lead us" to see God. Why is it that Jesus always points to a child when He wants us to see the truest example of discipleship?

Because children are innocent? pure? unjaded? Nope... Nope... Nope!

Those are modern day depictions of children and childhood, but they are not consistent with biblical depictions of children. Children were considered to be of the lowest status in Jesus' day. The reason that "Jeeeesus loves the little chiiildren" is because in the kingdom of God, the last shall be first and the first shall be last... BUT still, we can learn a lot from the little ones.

A few reasons why you need a Little One in your life:
1. Rhoda's keep you dreaming. For some of us whose dreams have long since faded, little ones allow us to dream through them. As we dream of all that we hope they will be, our dreams are given new life... even if its only in our hopes that their dreams will come true.

2. Rhoda's help us to remember our nightlites. My nightlite comforted me when the lights were turned off at bedtime as a child. I now know that there was nothing there in the dark that would harm me, but the imagination of a child is still capable of wondering what's out there.

3. Rhoda's keep us small. Have you ever watched a child play with a new toy? OR watch the same movie over and over and laugh at the same parts each time. I'm always amazed at the power of stickers with children. Children love stickers! I'm not sure why, but I vaguely remember loving stickers too. Little ones help us to remember the meaning and significance of the small things.

4. Rhoda's keep you light. If you ever start taking yourself too seriously, hang out with some children. The don't play for entertainment or because their bored. They play because its fun.

Who's your Rhoda? Who keeps you dreaming... keeps your imagination alive... helps you to remember the importance of the little things... and helps you to NOT take yourself too seriously?

Written by Frederick A Hanna

Who's Your Zacchaeus? - You need a misfit!

Remember little Zacchaeus? The little despicable man with the despised profession? The one who robbed all of the people's money and got rich in the process? Yeah! That guy!


Luke 19

1Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. 3He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. 4So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.
5When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." 6So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

7All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a 'sinner.' "

8But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."

Funny, Zacchaeus wasn't just a tax collector, he was architelones, the "chief tax collector," a phrase used only once in the New Testament. He was the best of the bad, but he was in need.

Your Zacchaeus is someone who needs your help...

1. This is someone who is up a tree.

This person is disgraced and isolated "either socially, mentally, physically, or economically." The thing about people like this is that if we genuinely look at them, we will get clearer glimpses of ourselves. To be able to look at someone who is "up a tree" and to acknowledge them as a person like you or me, just an everyday person with needs, mirrors the relationship we ourselves have found in our personal relationship with Christ. We all have needs and we all need somebody.

2. This is someone who is an outcast.

Society sees this person as an enigma, and so they have pushed her/him to the borders. Oddly enough, they can't get rid of Zacchaeus because he is a structural part of the community. Think about that? People society wants to get rid of, but can't. How do we "handle" those people?

3. This is someone who wants to follow, but can't get close enough.

Sometimes we can be so consumed with the Messenger, that we forget the message... and more importantly who the message was for... the outsider, the cosmos, those who don't know...

Sometimes we have to remove ourselves - literally "self" in order to reach those in need.

HERE's the BEST part!

4. Zacchaeus is in position to do something that you can't do.

Because Jesus took the time to stop and "see about" lil Zacchaeus, Zacchaeus was able to see himself in a new light... AND he was able to pour out his resources—which need not be money—in a way that helped the very people who rejected him.

Do you just hang with the folks in the crowd, or do you look outside of the crowd to find those who may not fit? The misfits, the outcasts, those on the margins...

Written by Frederick A Hanna

Who is your Deborah? - You need someone who's got your back!

I once heard someone say, "If I have your back, you never need to look behind you." I like that! I lived by that in the streets. If I was your friend, you never needed to wonder if I had your back. I'd be there for you without question. That worked well for a while, until the night I was shot behind Howard University Hospital in Washington, DC. That night made me start to wonder who REALLY had my back.

The one who has your back is your protector, your coverer. They don't let anything sneak up on you.

Who's Deborah? Shame on you! One of only 3 people in the history of Israel to hold the combined offices of prophet, judge, and military leader. The other 2 are Moses and Samuel. "What was that?" "Women can't do what?"

When Deborah brought the word of the Lord to General Barak that he should mount up and ride on those busta Canaanites, Barak said, "Only one way that's gonna happen baby girl... you gotta ride shotgun." He needed a real ride-or-die sister to have his back.

Judges 4:

8 Barak said to her, "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go.9 "Very well," Deborah said, "I will go with you."

Why do you need a Deborah?

1. Because people will stab you in the back. Especially when you are good, gifted, anointed, and have God intentions. Enemies will raise up even from the ranks of friends. The O'Jays put it like this:

A few of your buddies they sure look shady
Blades are long, clenched tight in their fist
Aimin' straight at your back
And I don't think they'll miss.
They smile in your face,
All the time they want to take your place,
The back stabbers...

Len Sweet notes that "the church seems to be especially rampant and flamboyant about its friendly fire." So much of resistance in churches today comes from folk who don't want to change. So while you are trying to move the church forward, they're digging in their heels behind you trying to hold you back. Well, you better have a Deborah behind you fending them off if you want to make any progress.

2. Sometimes your Deborah isn't riding along side you physically because he/she's busy praying for you. Your Deborah knows that all enemies aren't made of flesh and blood, and knows that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God...

Pastor Alister Begg tells the story of the "boiler room" in the lower level of Charles Spurgeon's church. It wasn't an actual boiler room, but a lower level of the church where prayer warriors gathered during every service to cover their pastor in prayer. That's serious rear coverage!

3. You don't have eyes in the back of your head. Since you can't see every attack, you need a Deborah to keep watch when you're not looking.

A good Deborah is a CYB, not a CYA. I had a Deborah who I thought had my back until I realized that she used her relationship with me to get the spotlight she coveted for herself. I'm not even sure that she was fully aware of her need to shine until the day the knives came out of the sheaths for me and I saw her fall in with the enemy ranks. She looked innocent enough falling back, but I could see in her eyes that she knew she was leaving me to fend for myself. Maybe she was deceived because it was friendly fire. I'm not sure... BUT from that day on, whenever she's supposed to have my back, I keep my hand on my gun. Metaphorically of course.

My advice, get as many Deborah's as you can, then look for one more.

Written by Frederick A Hanna

Who's Your Paul? - You need a wise mentor.

We all need someone in our lives who's "been there, done that" and has had the wisdom to learn from the experience. When I was growing up in Jersey City, we got all of the New York City radio stations, and one of my favorite programs was the Mr. Magic Rap Attack on WBLS, featuring "Super Rockin' Mr. Magic, and his man DJ Marley Marl." At the end of every show, Mr. Magic would say, "Any fool can learn from his own mistakes, but it takes a wise guy or a wise gal like you and me to learn from the mistakes made by others."

Who is that person in your life who has made those mistakes... who HAS LEARNED and lives to share those lessons learned so that you don't meet with the same pitfalls?

Your Paul is your sage. The one who you submit yourself to in order to learn “the way,” the basics, the one who tutors you in matters of tradition and experience. Your Paul will help you to understand which battles are worth fighting and which ones are not.

Your apprenticeships will change, but they should never end.

Sometimes your Paul’s will choose you, but oftentimes you will choose your own Paul’s. So how do you choose your Paul?

Some characteristics that you should look for in a Paul:

1. HUMILITY – A good Paul will know that they don’t know it all, and has a willingness to learn with you, as much as a willingness to teach you.

It has always been my personal position that I would rather walk with people, and learn beside them than to dictate to them what is right and what is wrong from my perspective because my perspective isn’t failsafe. Contrary to what people might think, I know that I don't know it all.

The one who knows much says little; an understanding person remains calm. Proverbs 17:27

2. HONESTY - A good Paul will be willing and able to tell you the truth, “even rebuke you, especially when you are willing to settle for easy answers.”

Someone who is unwilling to tell you when you are wrong or at least enter into a dialogue about it, is someone who will never facilitate your growth.

3. CRITICAL – A good Paul must be critical WITH you.

Some people equate being “critical” with being negative. BUT you see, there is a difference between “criticizing” and being “critical.” Its hard to criticize without doing harm, but to be critical is simply a way of dissecting the truth in search of the smaller deeper truths that shape the greater truths. It also involves debunking lies and half truths, which undermine the real truth.

4. INTEGRITY – A good Paul is a man/woman of integrity.

What I mean by this is simply that they practice what they preach. They talk the talk, and they walk the walk. You will never respect a Paul who doesn’t walk in integrity.

5. RESPECT – You must respect your Paul.

When I say “respect” here, I’m not thinking Aretha Franklin…

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me… Just a little bit!!!"

I’m thinking more like HONOR. Your Paul should be someone who is honorable in thy sight. That is to say that they are deserving of honor. Whenever I get ready to sit down in a pulpit, I always pause, take a knee, and pray, “Lord cleanse thy servant of all unrighteousness that I might not dishonor you in service to your kingdom.” I do this because I realize that to sit under God as a minister of the gospel is an honor, thus I wish to return that honor to God in service. Your Paul should be such a one that, by her/his relationship with you, demands such honor. Not worship-that belongs to God alone, but honor.

Nathan’s point the way… Barnabus’ encourage us along the way… Jonathan’s walk with us along the way… Jethro’s bless up to go the way… PAUL’s guide and teach us as we go.

Who is your Barnabus? - Who has your back when no one else does?

Who's your Barnabus?

Barnabus was a Levite by birth whose name was originally Joseph. Joseph sold a field he owned and gave the proceeds to the apostles who in turn gave him a name of endearment, Barnabus, which means "Encourager."


It was Barnabus who vouched for Saul’s good character…
Acts 9:26-27 (NIV)

26When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus.

It was Barnabus who encouraged the church at Antioch…
Acts 11:22-24 (NIV)

22News of this reached the ears of the church at Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. 23When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. 24He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord.

It was Barnabus who parted ways with Paul in order to encourage John Mark…
Acts 15:37-39 (NIV)

37Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus,

Your Barnabus is your encourager. When all the world has turned on you and you feel that there is no one who has your back... your Barnabus steps up and tells you that you still matter... Your Barnabus steps in and says "I believe in you."

We all need people to encourage us, to believe in us, to speak words of affirmation to us. Someone to "light your candle and keep it lit, and to encourage you when it goes dark" (L Sweet).

A Barnabus' role is to encourage you, not placate you. "Some people will embalm you in flattery. That's not a Barnabus, that's a sycophant" (L Sweet). Sycophant! Now there’s a word you don’t hear everyday! It means “a servile self-seeking flatterer, a parasite.” People who encourage you by enshrining you can be dangerous. They can deceive into self conceit, and pride, which can in turn be the death of you. You need people who inspire the best in you… literally breathe life into you… not fawn you into self delusion. You’ll never grow that way.

Now don’t get your Barnabus confused with your Nathan (see previous blog entry – Who’s Your Nathan). The goal is the same, to move you forward, but the method is a little different. Len Sweet describes two types of hands, a fist and a palm. Your Nathan is a fist! Nathan will take the gloves off with no remorse. Barnabus is a palm. Barnabus will pat you on the back, touch you, feel your pain.

Just like we all need a Barnabus, we also need to be a Barnabus to others. The law of reciprocity really works. You reap what you sow. If you sow seeds of compassion and encouragement, you will reap the same in due season. When seeds of encouragement and compassion are sown into you, you should be careful to sow them back into others.

Exercise: Pick one day out of each week and make it your "Barnabus Day." Make it your business to encourage everyone you meet that day.
Speak a word of comfort!
Pay someone a compliment!
Tell someone “Thank you!”
Tell someone how wonderful you think they are!
Encourage someone!

“The word encouragement is from the French coeur: It means to put “heart” into someone.”

Who "hearts" you?

Written by Frederick A. Hanna

Who's Your Timothy? - Do you pour the richness of your life's journeys into another?

Who Is Your Timothy?

This next relationship is a little different than the last few because this is not a relationship that has as much of an inward focus as the others. This relationship is directed outward. Timothy was Paul’s mentee. This was the kid that Paul took under his wing. The one to whom Paul taught all he knew.

Len Sweet tells of an old African proverb about a band of elephants that come upon a raging river. The big elephants don’t even hesitate. They just step right on through the rough waters, but the small elephants freeze. They are afraid to take the first step into the raging waters. “Elephants are known for never forgetting.” As the big elephants are crossing, one of them looks back at the smaller elephants standing on the banks and shouts to the elephants in the front, “Brother, we have some folks who haven’t made it into the water.” The bigger elephants don’t hesitate at all; they get back into the water and stand shoulder to shoulder until their bodies create a dam that slows the water enough for the smaller elephants to cross over.

“How many people who make it in life, who get to the other side, forget to remember?”

How many people who have experienced all of the ups and downs, the pitfalls and valleys, the strange twists that life can take, refuse to turn back and help those who are following those same paths?

One thing I’ve noticed today is that many of us tend to see people following in our footsteps as threats to our positions as opposed to necessary helpers, and perhaps mediators, and harbingers of change. A wise boss once told me, “Fred, I want to teach you everything I know. I want you to be able to do my job at least as good as I can. That way, if a position opens up that I want to bid on, there will be no reason to hold me here because you’ll be ready to step in.” Now don’t read too much into that statement and think that my old boss, Mike, was being selfish. Mike, knew that in order for him to move forward, he needed to train up someone to be able to at least fill his shoes. In fact, Mike always told me that I was smarter than him and could do more than he could ever do. So he made me his protégé.

Timothy was Paul’s protégé. He was a younger, less mature version of Paul. He was a single-parent child who Paul called “son.” Paul was duplicating a relationship that he had in his own life... In Paul’s life, before he had a Timothy, he had to be a Timothy. His mentor was Gamaliel. Did you have a mentor? Someone who showed you the way? Someone who schooled you on the tricks of the trade? Someone who could position your mistakes as teaching moments to move you further along your path?

Maybe its time for you to pass that wealth of experience and wisdom you have developed onto another. It will enrich your life.

Here’s a note for Timothy’s and Paul’s alike… Your Timothy doesn’t need to be—should not be, your clone. Natural reproduction does not produce clones. Natural reproduction produces something that is unique, different, perfectly imperfect… So why should your Timothy be any different. How boring would life be if we were all alike? More importantly, how stagnant would our worlds be if we lived in a system full of clones?

Allow your Timothy to be different, remembering that different doesn’t mean better, or worse for that matter… different doesn’t mean wrong… different just means different. Some of the people I love most in this world are the ones who embrace the fact that I am different… that I don’t fit into anyone’s mold and don’t want to… that allow me to be me with no regrets. Those differences can breed innovation… change… transformation… They can enrich your life if you would only embrace them. So, as your Timothy grows, allow her/him to be themselves and to embrace the fullness of all that they are called to be.

Written by Frederick A. Hanna

Who’s Your Jethro? – You Need Someone Who Can Bless You Forward.

So who was Jethro? Jethro was a Midianite high priest who happened to be Moses’ father-in-law. It was there beyond the wilderness where Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law that he encountered the presence of God. This was an authentic God moment. Its one of those rare Old Testament encounters where a mere mortal gets to behold the glory of God. In this encounter Moses was informed of his destiny, and of the source of his power and purpose…

Exodus 3:14 (New King James Version)

14 And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

In the midst of this encounter, Moses also expressed doubt about his own abilities to accomplish what God had proclaimed...

Exodus 4:1 (NKJV)

1 Then Moses answered and said, “But suppose they will not believe me or listen to my voice; suppose they say, ‘The LORD has not appeared to you.’”

Exodus 4:10 (NKJV)

10 Then Moses said to the LORD, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”

BUT God assured Moses that ample resources would be in place to overcome his shortcomings…

Exodus 4:2 (NKJV)

2 So the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?”
He said, “A rod.”

Exodus 4:11 (NKJV)

11 So the LORD said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the LORD?

Now you would think that after all of this, Moses would have just launched out and done as God had instructed, BUT he didn’t. AND this is where Jethro reenters the narrative! He went into the tent of his father-in-law, and asked “Ummm, Ummm, Ummm, can I go check on my peeps?”

Exodus 4:18 (NKJV)18

So Moses went and returned to Jethro his father-in-law, and said to him, “Please let me go and return to my brethren who are in Egypt, and see whether they are still alive.” And Jethro said to Moses, “Go in peace.”

Now, I’m making a big exegetical assumption which might preach well but may not be entirely true, BUT what I am seeing here based on Moses idiosyncrasies and character flaws, is a moment of doubt…

…Well, Jethro had the power right there to stop Moses in his tracks and say “No”… “No, Moses, you cannot go.” AND what would Moses have done then? I’m not sure what he would have done, but I can tell you that I have been in situations where the word of God had been declared over my life and I needed someone with some maturity, some experience, some foresight, to get behind me and give me a good push, or a swift kick and say “Go.” Very rarely did they say “go” to me, in fact they often said nothing at all. So I either sat confused and wondering… stayed in a holding pattern unable to advance… OR I was placed in a position of having to chose between severing a meaningful relationship and moving forward, or sitting still and slowly wasting away…

Well for all you would be Jethro’s out there, let’s look at what Jethro says in this situation… Jethro says lech l’shalom, which literally means, “go to peace.” Most of the time this phrase is translated as “go in peace” which is a slightly different Hebrew phrase, lech b’shalom. See the difference? In this case, there is a big difference between “to” and “in.” The phrase “go in peace” is a typical farewell blessing which can indicate “resting in wholeness or perfection” (L. Sweet), whereas “go to peace” symbolizes a forward blessing. Its more like ”go forward and get all that your destiny holds!”

According to Len Sweet: “’Go to Peace!’ has the peacemaking sense of shalom, and the channeling of energy that brings wholeness and wellness to the world.”

Sweet also notes that one of the most powerful acts you can do to another human being is to bless them forward…

Rabbi Jonathan Magonet says, (paraphrasing) You can’t be “at peace” until you go “to peace” so that one day you can rest “in peace.”

We all need Jethro’s, not to cosign our foolishness… not to flatter us and toot our horns… not to patronize and ingratiate us… not to “kiss our butts” and coddle us… BUT

… to encourage us to go forward!
… to not let us cease in well doing!
… to tell us not to lose heart when we go through seasons of doubt!
… to break us, or better yet kick us out of our holding patterns!
… to tell us to “use whatcha’ got!”
… to affirm what God has already confirmed!

TO TELL US, “You can win,” “You can succeed,” “You have purpose,” God has plans for you. Plans of good and not of evil. Plans to give you a future and a hope!

Are you a Jethro? Is there someone you need to call, set up a meeting with, write a letter to? Someone who needed and needs you to bless them forward? I want to encourage you to reach out to that person today. Withholding a blessing can be as detrimental as not receiving one.

We all need people who directly or indirectly give us permission to make progress. Of course your destiny doesn’t ultimately depend on this permission, but it might just be the catalyst you need.

Written by Frederick A. Hanna

Who's Your Jonathan? - Your TRUE FRIEND

There was one person who David could always count on. This person would never let him down, always had his back, always put him in position to win, was always willing to dim his own light that David's light might shine more brightly. That one person was Jonathan.

1 Samuel 18:1-4 (New King James Version)

1 Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 Saul took him that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. 3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt.

Jonathan was a true friend, not a best friend but a true friend, not a BFF but a true friend. The Message version of the Bible translates Proverbs 18:24 as,

"Friends come and friends go,
but a true friend sticks by you like family."

Now I realize that many of us have family members who aren't very close and never will be, but in the biblical sense, this verse can be likened to the old adage, "blood is thicker than water," indicating the closeness of blood kinship. In this case, this true friend is thicker than blood!

1 Samuel 18:1 says that Jonathan loved David as his own soul.-- A soul friend is the epitome of a true friend and sees you as a kind of SECOND SELF.

"The true friend is, so to speak, a second self."
Cicero

According to Leonard Sweet:

A Jonathan believes in you when no one else does.
A Jonathan is loyal even when you make it hard to be loyal.
A Jonathan is the first to call in good times or bad.
A Jonathan gives and gives and wants nothing in return.
A Jonathan walks with you through every season of your life.

I have to say this because I have debated with more than a few folk about the meaning of "friend." I don't call many people "friend." Friend is a deeply intimate term for me. I have a number of acquaintances, many of them very dear. In my youth a had a "crew" that I hung out with... my homeboys. I had guys I played ball with, women I talked on the telephone and went to the movies with, people I partied with, even people I worshiped with at church... people I loved, but how many of them were true friends? To quote the hip hop group Whodini, "The dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friend." I'll just say that for me, a friend is a very special individual, and a true friend is priceless.

A Jonathan has at least 3 characteristics

1) A "What's in it for YOU attitude"

Be careful of people who only want to be close to you because of what you can do for them. Some people can make you feel great about yourself for all the wrong reasons. They put you up on a pedestal and anoint you king or queen. This is when you need your Nathan to come in and straighten you out! (see my previous blog entry)... The point I'm trying to make is that some people will get close to you with a "What's in it for me" attitude. They know that they stand to gain something from their relationship with you and that's the sole reason why they are in the relationship. A Jonathan on the other hand has a "What's in it for YOU attitude." They can put their own ambitions on the back burner and champion you, just because they love you.

2) Establishes a level of intimacy with you.

Relationships exist at many levels. I have heard it said that people come into your life for a "reason, a season, or a lifetime" and different levels of truth and trust are required to sustain different types of relationships. Jonathan's have established intimacy with you. You can share your dark side, your secret sins, your private pains, your old unhealed wounds, and your Jonathan will love you anyway.

3)Pay the cost.

I have heard it said that anything worth having will cost you something. A Jonathan knows that there is a cost associated with true friendship. To be a true friend requires great sacrifice and a Jonathan is willing to "Pay The Cost."

Who's your Jonathan? The person who would give their very last that you might live... the one who is willing to fall back, so that you can move forward... the one who feels your pain as though it were their own and rejoices in your triumph as though it were their own victory?

We all need a Jonathan. Someone who will allow us to be ourselves with no shame or regret. Someone who loves us, not because of, but in spite of who we really are.

Written by Frederick A. Hanna

Who's Your Nathan?

Those of you who are familiar with the narrative of biblical writ in the life of King David may also be acquainted with the ministry of the prophet Nathan. It was Nathan who had the "gonads" to go to King David after he had looked upon, defiled and impregnated the wife (Bathsheba) of Uriah, and then sent Uriah to face certain death on the front lines. Lust, Adultery, and Murder all in one fell swoop. What a trifecta! You go David! When you sin, you do it BIG boy! David would have been content to keep this little triple play of debauchery to himself, if it were not for the prophet's willingness to point out the err of his ways.

2 Samuel 12:7

7 Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul.

Nathan said, "David, you da man!" Oh wait a minute, before that line gets caught up in modern day colloquialisms, and you think that Nathan was saying something like, "You go boy"; "Get your swag right player"; "You da OG, original playa playa pimp don dadda."... we should read a few more verses...

Let's try 8-10

8 I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.'

This "You're the man" was more like "You're the fool." Is there anyone in your life who is allowed to point their finger in your face and tell you "you are really screwing things up, and if you don't make some changes, you're on a collision course with calamity." We all need editing from time to time, and some of us need editing all the time! But I'm not writing a book here, I'm only blogging!

The name Nathan means gift. Nathan was a gift to David, because he had the wisdom and courage to step to David and EDIT him before it was too late. AND David, despite all of his mistakes, had the wisdom to give Nathan permission to speak to him... to "keep it real" with him.

Your Nathan will "help you get under your own skin," "ask you tough, intrusive questions," "help you to see the truth about who you are." Nathan's can be hard to take sometimes, but Nathan's Edit you because they love you, and they are concerned for your future. They want to see you reach your destiny. Don't shun the "Nathan" in your life, embrace her/him because they only want what's best for you.

Who's your Nathan? Did you hang up on him yesterday and tell him to never call back? Did you tell her that her advice was unsolicited and unwanted? Did you curse the day you ever met?

Your Nathan is a gift! Your future may hinge upon your willingness to hear your Nathan.

(Heavily influenced by the writing of Len Sweet)

Written by Frederick A. Hanna