Quitting Graduate School

Last week I considered quitting graduate school.

I started working on a 96 credit masters degree in 2004, finished that up in 2007 and went straight into a doctoral program. In that same span of time, I got married, changed jobs, moved to another state, been ordained by two different denominations, and probably several other significant things that I have forgotten. Did I mention that I drive a few hundred miles a week to get from home to work to school to home to work to school, etc.?

People often ask me,

How do you do it?

My typical response,

I love my studies. They motivate me. They give me life. When nothing else in life is going right, my studies give me a sense of purpose.

What happened? Did I stop believing this? No way! I still believe it, but I'm tired. My body is tired. I'm not eating right. I can never get to the gym to shed this 10 pounds that I hate... and while I have been diligent in my studies, I have become slothful in some other areas.

My spiritual life is in a funk. I'm not remaining vigilant...

I got an email on Friday from someone who finds inspiration in me for some reason... a classmate from last semester. Someone who's life story is parallel to mine in many ways. He said,

I miss big bro you?

I told my wife that I had considered quitting grad school, and she laughed and said,

Right?!

I said,

No seriously, but my lil bro told me not to. He didn't know it, but he did.

LOVE!!!

Democrats Get Out Your Gloves

I am very much disappointed with the lack of fight in the democratic party right now. They are allowing their thunder to be stolen by a "hockey mom." Unleash your "Righteous Rage" Obama!



I understand "race" politics, and Obama's desire to avoid doing anything that would cause him to be labeled the "angry black man." I live with this dilemma day in and day out. Making a conscious decision to keep silent for fear that my passion would be labeled as anger, and my convictions would be called "scary." I know what it feels like to want to respond and yet feel handcuffed at the same time. If that's the real issue, then Joe Biden should be the mouthpiece. Where are you Joe? What kind of wingman are you that doesn't fend off the wayward blows being thrown out by a rival? AND race politic and all doesn't mean that they can't hammer McCain for lying!



McCain wants a town hall meeting, dammit give it to him right now and attack every lie his campaign has sponsored for the last 2 weeks!

Blog Block

For some reason I haven't been able to consistently sit down and blog. I would really like to, so I'm not sure what the problem is... I love to write and can write lengthy pieces very easily, so that should not be a hindrance. As a matter of fact, I would rather read my writing, than to hear myself talk. LOL. Except when I am preaching. I like to hear that because it helps me to identify things I need to improve on. Perhaps its because I feel that a lot of my ideas are extreme and oppositional to the status quo. Maybe I am afraid that if the part of America that I try to appease by "doing the right thing" would frown upon hearing what I really feel. My wife would say, "since when do you care what other people think?" That's kind of my mantra... not that I completely don't care, BUT I don't care if you disagree with me so I say what I say. You know? I do so with discretion though... I mean, I don't think that everything you want to say should be said. By the same token, everything that you want to write or blog shouldn't be written down or blogged... especially not blogged. Because the world has access to your thoughts when you blog. Some things are still private... even in the age of information... unless you are running for president that is... Stay tuned...

Nana

I grew up with a grandmother who is spiritual to the core. Not so much in her church going habits, her religiosity, or her high moral standards, but in her clinging to her faith as the only truth that was really worth anything. No matter what, there were Bibles on the kitchen table, and they were never for show. She read these Bibles over and over, year after year. They accompanied her through life’s ups and downs and when she found herself laying face down in one of life’s valleys, she would open up these Bibles and just read them. She read them laughing... She read them crying... She read them to herself... She read them out loud... She them when she needed an answer... She read them to find a question... She read them... and she still does. They gave her peace. They instilled something in her that stilled the stormy waters of her not so perfect life and helped her to get up every time she was knocked down. Just a few days ago she was telling me that she was talking to God, and she is so certain that God hears every word. Ever so sincere and unpretentious as she is. She’s just a simple woman, but there is something within her that shines through and enables her to see beyond life’s disappointments to something greater, and whether you agree or disagree about what that something is, you feel the energy and power that it generates in her. She can touch you and heal your broken heart. She can speak a word to you to encourage your wounded soul. Its something wonderful that God put inside of her. Its like a balm that heals the oppression of dreams unfulfilled and hopes deferred. It's one of the things that makes me believe "I can." That's Nana, and I am a better person from knowing her.